.
And so it begins
Scenes
from Adelaide Road, my new release, has gone on
pre-order on the Pride
Publishing Website today. And thus kicks off a release process that will
last for one month and 11 days. The schedule is as follows:
October
20, 2015: Pre-order on Pride Publishing Website
November
3, 2015: Early download on Pride Publishing Website
December
1, 2015: General release day.
Don’t
worry if you can’t keep all the dates straight, I will be posting again for
every step in the release process J
Scenes
from Adelaide Road is very close to my heart. I’ve grown very fond of both
Lennart and Aidan and can’t wait to introduce them to the rest of the world.
The
blurb:
Can a young man
find the courage he never knew he had when faced with losing everything he
holds dear?
A few months before
his final exams in secondary school, nineteen-year-old Lennart Kelly discovers
he’s inherited a house on Adelaide Road in Dublin from a grandfather he never
knew. Having been ignored, bullied and abused for as long as he can remember, Lennart
can’t wait to leave behind his father and the small town he grew up in. Moving
away as soon as he finishes his exams doesn’t cure his deep-rooted insecurities
though.
Meeting
twenty-three-year-old Aidan Cassidy in a gay club on his second night in Dublin,
scares Lennart. Used to being ignored and ridiculed, he doesn’t trust the
attention he receives and can’t believe a man like Aidan could possibly be
interested in him. It takes infinite patience and understanding from Aidan to
slowly coax Lennart out of his shell.
But the past refuses
to stay where it belongs and Lennart’s father is determined to take the house
in Dublin off his son by whatever means necessary. Just when Lennart is
learning to trust and embrace life, a violent attack threatens everything he
holds dear. Suddenly Lennart is in danger of losing his house, the man he’s
grown to love and maybe even his life. If Lennart wants to protect Aidan and
safeguard his future, he’ll have to find the courage he never knew he had.
Excerpt:
I took one step forward before
retreating again. The wall against my back grounded me, taking some of my panic
away. I stared across the street at the door, the bouncers and the slow trickle
of people entering the club. I had waited for this moment, dreamed about it for
months but now it had arrived I couldn’t find the courage to take the last
fifteen steps separating me from the threshold.
I forced myself to breathe slowly while
I counted up to ten and down to zero again. My body was on high alert, thoughts
rushed through my mind and worry cramped my stomach. This was ridiculous. I
only wanted to enter a club, discover what it was like on the inside in order
to satisfy my curiosity. Here in Dublin,
I had no reason to be afraid—there was no one to tell me what I could and
couldn’t do, and, most importantly, nobody to frown upon me and who I was.
I was free at last, but I might as well
still be shackled to my father and his rules for all the good it did me. I
could hear the contemptuous words my dad used to spew at me whenever I’d
attempted to create a social life for myself as if he stood next to me. ‘Don’t make a fool of yourself. Surely by now
you’ve figured out people don’t want to be around you. Nobody likes a loser.’ I
had hoped the distance between us would diminish his power over my thoughts.
I’d been wrong.
Across the road two more men entered
the club. They exchanged a few words with the bouncers and a burst of laughter
reached my ears. I studied them. They looked just like me—nothing made them
stand out as special or remarkable. Tight jeans, even tighter T-shirts, and
loafers. Nothing about their appearance distinguished them from the people who
walked past the club on their way to different venues. Nothing, apart from the fact that some of
them had been holding hands and others had their arms wrapped around each
other, or hands stuffed into each other’s back pockets. Nothing, except that
couples entering this club were either all male or all female.
That stood out like a red flag in a
black and white movie. I couldn’t imagine ever seeing that back home. The sight
filled me with a longing so deep it hurt. I closed my eyes for a moment and
allowed the soft June breeze to wash over me. I wanted to believe I could be
one of those men one day. Nineteen years of being told I was nothing—not good
enough, a disappointment as well as a disgrace—had me convinced my dream would
always be that, a futile fantasy.
Time passed and I just stood there. I
had to make up my mind—either bite the bullet, cross the road and enter the
club or go back home. There would be no shame in going back to my house. I’d
only arrived in Dublin
two days ago. I didn’t have to hurry or force myself. This city was home now. I
could visit this club and others like it whenever I wanted, or rather, whenever
I found the courage. I half turned to start the short walk home before stopping
myself. No. If I chickened out now I
might never be brave enough to take the first step. Before I could change my
mind again I stepped away from the wall, crossed the street and walked up to
the door.
“Sorry, mate, we’ll need to see your
ID.”
The bouncer sounded kind enough, but
his words still left me fuming inside as I pulled my wallet out of my pocket
and handed my age card over. Looking like a sixteen year old when my nineteenth
birthday was months behind me sucked.
“Thanks. That’s grand. Enjoy your
night.” The bouncers stepped aside and allowed me to enter the place I’d been
longing and dreading to visit in equal measure.
What had I done? Why had I not gone
home? Every instinct screamed at me to turn around and walk out again. I
glimpsed bright lights, dark corners and a bar along the left hand wall before
I lowered my gaze to the floor. I’d seen enough to know the place was
relatively empty. A few bodies moved on the dance floor in the middle of the
club and some people sat at the tables surrounding it. The music was loud and
the beat travelled through my body, making my eardrums vibrate. I didn’t look
up while I made my way to the far end of the bar where I picked the empty stool
next to the wall.
The marble-like surface of the bar
wasn’t interesting enough for all the attention I paid it, but I couldn’t bring
myself to look up, never mind study my surroundings. I waited for someone to
come and tell me I wasn’t welcome. It had happened whenever I’d found the
courage to go out in the past and I couldn’t believe the same wouldn’t happen
here. The setting had changed, but I was still the same as I’d always been.
“What can I get ya?” The bartender
appeared out of nowhere, or maybe he’d been there all along.
“Bacardi and Coke, please.” I whispered
the words and wasn’t surprised when I had to repeat them so he could hear me
over the noise. I took advantage of the bartender having forced me to look up
and studied my surroundings while I waited for my drink. The place was dimly
lit and divided into various areas. On the far side, couches and coffee tables
created comfortable looking seating areas. Near the door, where people were now
entering in a steady flow, and at the opposite end of the large space, I saw
high tables without seats. The dance floor in the middle of the room sparkled
under the spotlights and steadily filled up with swaying bodies.
The bartender had moved back to the centre of
the bar to fix my drink and talked to a man while he did so, nodding his head
when the man stopped talking. Despite the fear churning through my stomach,
curiosity took over. Something about the customer with dark hair caught my
attention. He was little more than a silhouette but I couldn’t pull my gaze
away from him until he turned his head and looked straight at me. Shit. Muttering the soft curse, I
diverted my attention back to the marble top of the bar and traced a dark line
with my finger while trying to get my breathing under control. So much for
staying inconspicuous while checking out the club. I fought the urge to look
back up and establish whether or not the man was still looking at me. Don’t attract attention to yourself. The
voice screamed in my head and I acknowledged its wisdom.
When my drink appeared in front of me
on the bar, I paid for it without looking up or acknowledging the barman. I
nearly spilled the rum and Coke as I picked it up. The combination of bubbles
and alcohol hit the back of my throat as I drained half the cocktail in one
gulp. Tears sprang to my eyes and I swallowed hard to keep from coughing. I
couldn’t do this. Admitting defeat was easier than forcing myself to be braver
than I’d ever be. I’d finish my drink and go home. Being alone wasn’t easy but
I preferred it over the fear and tension keeping me on a knife’s edge right
now. Maybe once I’d lived in Dublin
a while longer, after I’d got a better feel for the place, this would be
easier. After all there was no hurry. I’d no intention of ever going back home.
I had a new place to live and the rest of my life to explore it.
My heart stopped jumping in my chest
and my breathing slowed down as soon as I made my decision. My hand was almost
steady when I reached for my glass again.
“Are you keeping this seat for anyone?”
I banged my head against the wall next
to me as the barely audible voice addressed me. The shock of pain made me
careless and without stopping to think, I looked up into the face of a
beautiful man before immediately looking away again. Of course it was the same
man I’d been staring at only a moment ago. I could feel colour rising up my
cheeks, as a cold sweat broke out across my brow. I numbly shook my head and
returned my gaze to the half-full glass in front of me.
I felt more than saw him sit down and
could feel his gaze travel over my body. A voice in my head screamed at me to
forget about the drink and just leave. I couldn’t do this. God only knew who he
was, what he wanted. Why did he seek me out when only a few stools along the
bar were occupied? I’d thought it might be safe to come here. I shouldn’t feel
threatened. But what if I was wrong? What if there was no safe place for me?
What if I hadn’t been singled out for the reason I’d always assumed but because
I sent out this subconscious message, inviting people to bully me? I had never
been able to figure out why my father detested me, why people looked down on me
or why others got a kick out of hurting me, but it had been the one constant in
my life. I’d no reason to believe it would be different here in Dublin.
“Is this your first time here?”
His voice was still barely discernible
but I couldn’t detect any hostility in it. I nodded my head, unable to find my
voice and grabbed my glass. Two deep swallows was all it took to finish what
remained of my drink. I placed my hands on the bar, ready to push off and
leave. Before I could raise myself, his hand landed on my arm.
“Don’t tell me you’re leaving already.
I saw you come in—you’ve only just arrived.”
For a moment, curiosity overtook fear
and I turned my head to really study him. He looked even better close up than
he had from a distance. Black hair fell in unruly locks around his face, his
fringe nearly hitting his dark eyes. His cheekbones stood out and created an
interesting pattern of light and shadow on his face. I allowed my gaze to rest
on his full, smiling lips for a moment before looking away again.
To be continued
